If you have found yourself in a troubled relationship, it may reflect the environment of discord you grew up in, echoing the words of Proverbs 15:18, “A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.” Perhaps your upbringing resembled that of households described in Colossians 3:21, where parental discord was prevalent, stating, “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”
This upbringing likely lacked the nurturing presence of positive role models, such as those exemplified in Ephesians 5:25, where husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church, or in Titus 2:4-5, where older women are instructed to teach younger women how to love their husbands and children.
The cornerstone of a healthy relationship, as guided by biblical principles, is rooted in good and respectful communication. As 1 Peter 3:8-9 encourages, “Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing.”
To mend your relationship, consider these communication tips guided by biblical wisdom:
1. Give each other your FULL attention
In our modern age, distractions are plentiful, often pulling our focus away from meaningful interactions. Yet, the Bible reminds us of the importance of undivided attention. In Matthew 6:22, Jesus teaches, “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light.” When engaging with your partner, turn away from distractions and give them your complete focus, echoing the sentiment of Proverbs 4:25-27, which urges us to fix our gaze directly ahead and be steadfast in our ways.
2. Take responsibility
Relationships can falter due to various reasons, including personal shortcomings and mistakes. It’s essential to acknowledge one’s role in the situation, as highlighted in Proverbs 28:13, “Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” By taking responsibility for your actions and seeking forgiveness, you pave the way for reconciliation and growth, aligning with the biblical principle of repentance and forgiveness.
3. Don’t interrupt
Effective communication involves active listening without interruptions. James 1:19 advises, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” Interrupting not only hinders understanding but also demonstrates a lack of respect for the other person’s perspective. Instead, practice patience and attentiveness, allowing your partner to express themselves fully.
4. Never raise your voice
In moments of frustration, it’s tempting to raise one’s voice in an attempt to be heard. However, Proverbs 15:1 teaches, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Raising your voice only escalates tensions and impedes effective communication. Instead, strive to maintain a calm demeanor, seeking resolution through peaceful dialogue and understanding.
5. Listen
Genuine listening is more than just hearing words; it involves understanding the emotions and intentions behind them. Proverbs 18:15 affirms, “The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge, for the ears of the wise seek it out.” Cultivate the skill of active listening by focusing on your partner’s words, empathizing with their feelings, and seeking clarity when needed. By truly listening, you demonstrate respect and foster deeper connection in your relationship.
Conclusion
By incorporating these biblical principles into your communication, you can nurture a healthier relationship and draw closer to one another, as advised in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”
If you seek guidance and support in your journey, consider reaching out to a therapist who can provide biblical counseling aligned with these principles, as mentioned in Galatians 6:2, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
God Bless,
Dr. Lombard
